It’s amazing how the little things impact us. I got up this morning not wanting to get out of bed, the alarm had gone just after 6AM to allow me to get the 6.55AM train. I used to never use an alarm clock, when did that change I wonder? I press snooze and 10 minutes later I am still there. I mustn’t have pressed it properly. I force myself to get up and get showered. I wander into the kitchen to try and a make a brew. My son is asleep on the Kitchen floor. This probably needs an explanation, he’s on a mattress. His room is being painted, it was his decision to sleep here, but only after he decided to move his computer to the kitchen table. I managed to make a brew without waking him.
He’s asleep in the space behind the PC on a mattress.
I was conscious of the time, as I would have to leave soon. I hadn’t done my stretches.I left not long later, I had done the minimal of stretching. I had my headphones in my pocket, should I carry on with my podcast, should I read my audiobook? Once at the train should I write, it’s always challenging on the very cramped seats with my Microsoft surface (other laptops are available) or should I read. I had put the book I am currently reading Fool Moon in my bag this morning. As I walked its very windy, winter is coming, how can you ever say that statement and not think of anything other than a game of thrones I ponder. It’s eerie, my walk takes me down a dimly lit passage with a few street lamps, it feels very Harry Potter. I think I should try and get all the popular culture references in, maybe today’s blog will reach more people because of it. I like the way the street lamps illuminate the surrounding trees and bushes, making the dark patches even more inky black. I wonder, would I walk down this way if the light were out. I once thought I saw a shadowy figure behind one of the trees across the street, I could have sworn someone was there but when I checked there was no one. It always makes me ponder what I did see that day.
Weirdly the passage gives me a smile and brightens my day. I enjoyed the walk this morning, albeit short as it was it lifted my spirits.
I await the train, I haven’t got my headphone out or made any decisions. The train pulls in, it’s not the usual one. It has bright new carriages, new seats and saving the best to last seating with tables. Oh my, my heart skips, my decision is made for me. I smile. I will write.
I silently hope this is to be regular train as I sit here finishing today’s blog and moving onto editing my book.
I’ve always wanted a room in which time doesn’t move. It just freezes the very moment you enter to the moment you leave. I could take anything to this room even a laptop with the internet. Obviously, this doesn’t exist but it would be amazing and oh things you could do. You could learn everything you ever dreamed of. I recall this as I briefly crammed in some stretching this morning and looked around the living room. I see lots of unfinished things, stuff that shouts to me “Oi Martin what about me, when you going to sort me out. There’s a Xbox voucher for 3 months access, that’s been sat there for months, there’s a mindful gift I got for my birthday off my beautiful daughter in July than needs a daily commitment which I’ve given about three continuous days
There’s a novel writing book, the drawing pins box from yesterday, a lean in 15 book, which has never had a recipe made from it. The Guardian paper that I bought yesterday as part of the 99 tasks and for the free virtual reality headset, the baskets in the living room are another thing entirely. They are crammed with hidden things out of sight but I know they are watching. Ok if I only had my special room that I could drag all these things into them and come out seconds later with every open loop closed and that’s just the living room. Every room I enter the voices call to me. “Pick me Martin pick me” but all the voices are the same level there isn’t one that shouts with authority ” I am the one to do next, you know that” occasionally the voices annoy I find a window to do some ‘organisation’. I choose at random what gets my attention, I choose over whelming tasks I open the basket and piles things out. There is no time room to take them to. They get spread out across the floor, these items of curiosity. I get distracted. I make vague inroads and time is sucked from me. The place is a mess. I collate all my piles of wonders together, they go back in the basket the lids shuts better than it before ever so slightly. That’s a success right?, I con myself .
Even now as I write this on the train, I’d decided I wouldn’t write the book this morning but I would read a novel. I don’t read enough, I berate myself , but I am now doing something else instead.
I’m silently screaming in my head. I wonder if I didn’t take on a single new thing how long it would take to put all the curiosities and things I started, to bed. Life doesn’t work like that does it. Can you press the pause button and crack on with other things? and if you can which one do you do when there is so many. As I metophocially drag the list of unfinished things to the room where time stops.